This Website Is Under Construction
Wrecking it
Jon A
Several years ago and for many years my 'life' was just a drunken waste. Constantly throwing away everything good to replace it with shame and embarrassment, jail and a lot of fines.
I believed I was saved because I believed in God. But there was no relationship with Him. Only some disillusioned belief that He is a distant God out there somewhere and if I die, He will save me. A few years ago my first child was born. Her mother and I never married and when we separated she was basically just used as a hate tool against me. She wouldn't let me put my name on the birth certificate and so I had no rights and no money for a lawyer. I started trying to get sober and was doing better. I filled out some paperwork to try to get my name on the birth certificate and was going to do what I could to be in that little girl's life.
Same ol same ol
Within just a few months I get arrested for a DUI #4.It was devastating. With that charge is prison, loss of my driver's license FOREVER and no judge in their right mind would give me any kind of shared custody, maybe some supervised visitation, if I was lucky. I remember in the middle of that talking to God, asking where are You and how could you let this happen. I was getting better. And I just had a daughter - and now You let this happen.
During the 11 months that court took, I finally did start living sober. (I was trying to show God I really did want to get sober.) I believed in Him, just didn't think He could or would change my circumstances. But with the cheapest attorney costing 6 thousand dollars, and the public defender telling me "I better just plead guilty to try to get some leniency", It was obvious I was going in it "Alone." On my way to the final court with nothing but a prayer, I told God if He would save me from this, I would serve Him with my life. And If You let me keep my driver's license, I'll serve You with that too."
Divine Intervention
When it was dropped to a reckless driving, My mind was blown. I was guilty...They had video and everything needed to close on me...It didn't make any sense, and it made perfect sense. But He didn't leave any room to believe it was some crazy coincidence. When I drove away from that court My heart was on fire. How could He of been so kind. Why would He do that for me? But it changed my life ,the way I live & It changed the way I pray. On the way home, I was praying "God, it seems like You just showed me that If I'm living Your way and my request are made for Your Glory - That inclines Your ear. God bring my daughter here that I can raise her for Your Glory. To Be Your Disciple.
New Life
orchestrating the details
Babies mom let me come see her, but after driving 18 hours I found out there was a no contact order on me - issued by the state. In this moment it was heart breaking and didn't make any sense because I hadn't done anything to warrant that. But God was working a symphony in it all. My ex had gotten in trouble and told several lies about me and the state put a no contact order on me. When I found out I called the state attorney's office and she agrees to meet with me. In the meeting not only does she delete the no contact order but gets it where my name is on the birth certificate and issues me a custody lawyer. We also was issued a case manager with cps. Within a couple of months she and my daughter's mothers family were becoming friends and it was obvious she was against baby girl coming home with me. Just to put it like it is - if she (case manager) was against me the judge certainly would of listened to her. One day I call her to find out some information about the next court date and I couldn't get ahold of her. After constantly trying I find out she had been transferred or something. Not really sure and don't care - But I seen that God moved her out of the way. There were so many small details that He used to show me - He was orchestrating this, for example a couple cases before our hearing there was a (dad) that obviously didn't care to be there and when they tried to get him to do a drug test, he just made a big scene - on our hearing that no doubt made me look good annd there was a case before our hearing where the people was lacking behind on the case plan and the judge specifically told everybody that the case plan is 6 months and they are adamant about sticking to that it. When our case was herd - The mother's attorney was asking for a continuance because the mom was almost done with her case plan, the judge couldn't go back on what she had just said on that case before us. So, in another desperate attempt they brought my just turned 2 year old daughter in the court to show that "she doesn't even know him." Right then within all those people, she looks right at me and says "dada." It was so beautiful, she didn't know me... She was kept from it - But my God who made that little girl's mouth - made it move at that exact second and used every one of their lies & tricks against them. Baby girl finally went home with me that day. We went to court many times for this - If court would have been continued, it's easy to see that it could have gone different. Within just a few months all the courts were closing because covid was just starting to close everything down And the wait list for digital hearings got long.
Not my battle
Within a year after the custody court closed, I get served. She was coming back for custody. Instantly I turn into a lawyer like I never knew was inside of me. Showing that she is being taken care of - Dr. visits - testimony letters from the daycare & respectable people - everything I know a judge would want to see. Now I'm getting confident and ready for battle. As I'm ready to go get an actual lawyer, Deep inside my heart it seemed like God was saying to me "Don't hire a lawyer and Don't show any of that paperwork you put together - Just show up."
This was terrifying. "It's already the mother and a lawyer against me and now You're telling me not to even use the paperwork that I thought You gave me to shut this case down!!!" This was depressing, I really just wanted to go die somewhere. I thought He was going to give her back to them. Their religion rejects the deity of Christ - and they would raise her to view Jesus as described in their man-made religion.
I couldn't shake it even as much as I wanted to. "God, I know Your good and I know I can trust You, even if I'm not hearing You right or Even If... But I believe with all my heart Your telling me this - So I Will..."
To top this all off baby's mom told the courts that my daughter seemed terrified of me, so they set the court date in an emergency fashion having the court within weeks - where covid had all the court dates months to a year out.
When court came it was so beautiful watching Him work. Turning all their lies and accusations around and biting them - like the snakes they are. Baby girl remained with me and He used that to deepen my faith in Him - It was His battle - I just needed to show up.
PS - Living His way all the way
In-between the 2 custody court cases - when there wasn't a case open - my daughter went on her 3 week court ordered summer vacation to her mom's, and I was trying to relax and take my mind off. So, I started smoking weed again. Then close to a week or 2 later I got served the papers saying she was taking me to custody court. Weed may not be looked at now like it use to be, but it's just a reason to take her away, and I just knew I was going to get a hair follicle test.. like I said we was in court within just a few weeks because she said my daughter seemed terrified of me. Didn't have nothing but a prayer again. "God, I'll be done with it if You save me from letting it take her away from me." I was right, I did get a hair follicle test and (Some How) I was innocent. He had been leading me for a while against it. He made us sober - that's how He wants us to live. And after dealing with my ex when she still had custody- I looked to God and said "OKAY I'll do it Your way, You made Your Point." (Celibacy Till Marriage) - It was hard at 1st. All I ever lived for was pleasure. But now, years later I couldn't ever imagine going back to that filthy lifestyle. He knows our desires and He knows when we put them aside to live for Him. I'm years in and still waiting, But I believe with all my heart He has a treasure of a wife lined up for me - I just have to do it His way, All the ways That I can and be grateful we have a loving Father who is kind and quick to forgive when we turn back to Him.